Lawyers aren’t generally known for great taste or tact, so it’s not surprising that TV commercials for their services can be embarrassingly bad and downright sleazy. Here are some of the worst.
These lawyers are always on the move, which makes you wonder they aren’t in better shape. Oh well, at least they’re “locked and loaded” and can provide “muscle, talent, results” — presumably in that order of importance.
When all you want from your lawyer is hair gel and attitude, call Pasquali & Palumbo: the Jersey Shore of law firms.
Lawyer Commercials Round Up — Legal Marketing & Technology Blog — April 14, 2021
I’m not sure which is more off-putting: the woman who seems to be happy that she was injured or Moseley Collins’ creepily calm demeanor — sort of like a molesting hypnotist. As a bonus, his phone number doubles as a prayer hotline, in case Collins decides that only God can help you:
I’m guessing someone told attorney Jack Bernstein that pointing at the camera would “butch up” his persona, but he ends up coming off more like a sassy talk show audience member wagging a finger at a philandering guest.
Time and time again, Brian Loncar’s stunt-laden ads display a remarkable ability to trivialize car wrecks that are presumably very traumatic to the very people he’s courting as clients. I suppose you can’t expect much tact from somebody known as “The Strong Arm.”
Bar Reviewing More Lawyer Ads
Larry Green apparently spent his entire budget (say, $100) on a DVD box set of stock explosion and car wreck footage, and he’s determined to use every last second of it. Ironically, if any of his clients were actually involved in the accidents pictured, they probably wouldn’t be alive to sue anyone.
Subtlety is not in Jim “The Texas Hammer” Adler’s vocabulary. He’s the legal equivalent of a monster truck show announcer (“SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!”) — so it’s not surprising that one of the oversized vehicles shows up in his commercial.
Nothing screams professionalism like a cartoon squirrel that looks like it was drawn with MS Paint, inexplicably sporting a Puerto Rican accent…and the ability to rap. Poorly.
Awesomely Bad Local Lawyer Tv Commercials
Lowell “The Hammer” Stanley must get 90% of his clients through sheer intimidation. He looks like he’s ready to reach through the TV screen and yank your esophagus out if you don’t call him. (Presumably he would then represent you in suing him.) He saves the most perverse threats, however, for the insurance companies, with whom he seems to want to have angry sex, spewing lines like, “I am the hammer, they are the nails…I hammer them nearly every day” and “I don’t stop hammering until the size of the check satisfies you.” Bonus: As the last video shows, The Hammer even represents victims of malicious kung fu attacks.
Why have boring ol’ lawyers talk about their credentials and how they can actually help people when you can trot out generic hip-hop music and a CGI tiger who vomits money?
There’s “more than meets the eye” to Jeff Weinstein and Corey Gomel, two unrelated and excruciatingly uncreative lawyers who share a love for crappy Transformers-wannabe computer effects — so much so that they bought the exact same canned commercial (including the jingle AND the nickname “The Heavy Hitter”) from some company that’s probably also selling Brooklyn Bridges at a helluva price.
Best Law Firm Commercials
Apparently, Barry Glazer doesn’t realize that some people pay good money to be urinated upon. The real question is who will stand up for the “urinated off”?
Say what you will about lawyers, but at least Glen Lerner is honest about being an ambulance chaser — OMG, that jingle is haunting my dreams!
Peter “Q” John AKA P’Ta Mon AKA The Thugs Lawyer: He’s a lawyer! He’s a pilot! He drives a BMW! He crosses his arms! He likes flashing letters and bootleg reggae music! Call now! (PS: He handles only MAJOR drug charges and SERIOUS felonies; wannabe gangstas need not apply.)
Tampa Bay Leads The Nation In Number Of Lawyer Ads On Tv
“If you and your spouse hate each other like poison and want to get out of the hell hole you call a marriage, you’ve come to the right place.” With those words, Steve Miller embarks on the sort of tirade generally reserved for drunk politicians who don’t realize they’re being recorded, insulting paralegals, courthouse workers and the sanctity of marriage in the process. But otherwise, he seems like a peach of a guy.
If you want to legitimize your law firm, you might want to shy away from slogans involving strip club lingo. Follow-up campaigns to “Change your pain to rain” include: “If your wound ain’t mending, we’ll give you a happy ending, ” “If you’re in a hole, jump on our pole” and “If you’re feeling beat, skeet skeet skeet.”
It seems the “Pay Me Now” jingle guy is a mercenary for hire — and really, who WOULDN’T want his dulcet tones representing their law firm?
Attorney Commercial Airtime
Of all the Hammers — Lowell Stanley, Jim Adler, MC, ball pean — Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro, who for some reason is proud that people consider him “the last resort” of lawyers, takes the nutty fruit cake. If anyone talked like him in everyday life — the crazed stare, the inflection of someone standing in a wind tunnel, the violent threats of ripping the eyes out of insurance companies and tearing the hearts and heads off of the people who hurt his clients — they would be locked in a padded room, but I suppose doing it in front of a camera with a law degree makes it acceptable.. Here at The Eye, we cross-post new episodes and host excerpts from the 99% Invisible blog, which offers complementary visuals for each episode.
When it’s 3 o’clock in the morning and everything is going wrong in your life, there’s a certain kind of ad you might see on basic cable. Lawyers—usually guys—promise to battle the heartless, tight-wad insurance companies on your behalf. There’s disaster footage and stiff readings off of cue cards. The ads look like they were made in a high school A.V. class.
Believe it or not, lawyer ads are actually tightly regulated. There was an era before ads like these were allowed—and a big bang after which they couldn’t be contained. And now, the legal world is in a subtle, possibly endless civil war over how attorneys should advertise their services (and whether they should advertise at all).
Attorney And Co Creator Gary Martin Hays Excited About Personal Injury Court Tv Show
Of the most outspoken attorneys in front of the camera, there are Lowell “The Hammer” Stanley, and Jim “The Hammer” Shapiro, and Jim “The Texas Hammer” Adler.
Century, you’d see ads for attorneys on the front page of newspapers, alongside ads for doctors, and saddle and harness manufacturers. But in 1908, the American Bar Association put in new rules declaring that self-laudation (that is, speaking well of oneself) “defies the traditions and lowers the tone of our high calling and are intolerable.”
Business cards were OK, but not much beyond that. The ban lasted until 1976, when the law clinic of Bates and O’Steen ran a small classified ad in the
Stephen Barnes, Partner In Law Firm With Cellino, Dies At 61
. The Arizona Bar suspended the two lawyers (but only for a week or so). Bates and O’Steen appealed the case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. And, in the now infamous
Today, laws governing lawyer ads vary state by state. Florida, Texas, and Iowa have some of the stricter regulations, although reprimands for breaking them are not that severe.
Massachusetts and Connecticut, meanwhile, are like the wild west of lawyer ads. Though this New York ad, featuring a bilingual anthropomorphic squirrel, has to be one of the most surreal:
How To Break Free Of Cookie Cutter Tv Lawyer Commercials
. Sean spoke with On the Media host (and former Advertising Age critic) Bob Garfield; Elizabeth Tarbert, who is on the ethics council for the Florida Bar; divorce attorney Steve Miller; Lucien Pera, an attorney who advises nationwide law firms on their ads; personal injury attorneys Matt Hardin; and Lowell “The Hammer” Stanley.Tampa Bay usually takes pride when it turns out to be No. 1 in national rankings. But to be this year's U.S. metro area most barraged by TV commercials from trial lawyers may not be what this market had in mind.
A spot count of ads run in major metros for the first eight months of this year placed Tampa Bay first with 164, 781, followed closely by Orlando with 142, 607, together making Central Florida ground zero for saturation TV advertising in 2015 by trial lawyers. So says a study being released today by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's Institute for Legal Reform. The organization is dedicated to fighting what it considers to be too many lawsuits, which, it argues, is a major drag on the U.S. economy.
The just released Trial Lawyer Marketing analysis says high concentrations of trial lawyer ads may reflect legal markets more conducive to filing lawsuits. But regardless of the reason, it is apparent that legal advertisers are targeting select markets. The report also discusses how law firms are increasingly using sophisticated social media to spread their brands and litigation messages online while additionally searching for more potential clients.
Chicago Commercial Video Production // Attorney Tv Commercial
For the small number of folks in Tampa Bay who have not already guessed, ads by the Morgan & Morgan For The People personal injury law firm dominate
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